Crystal Palace Football Club are updating and modernising the club’s crest, and we want you, the supporters, to help us make this important decision.

Crystal Palace are finally embracing the 21st century. To mark the occasion, they are seeking to replace the old crest, which looks like it was colored in by my four year old niece (though she at least stayed in the lines that time). Unfortunately, you probably can’t vote for it. Only members and season-ticket holders are eligible to place a vote in this, the second most important election of 2012.

No clear front runner has emerged, despite the increased desperation of the logos involved.  Already, the candidates have gone on the offensive with a series of negative advertisements placed on London-based low rate cable-access networks.A breakdown of the candidates is as follows. Please take part in the democratic process and vote below. The results will be sent to Crystal Palace FC at the close of the election on February 1st.

Badge A

A is one of the more moderate of the candidates. With one red wing and one blue wing, it symbolizes how flight can be achieved by working together. In doing so, the entire club is hoisted into the air by the values and cooperation of everyone involved. This is stoically portrayed in the logo and clearly marked by the date of the club’s founding. Unfortunately, this type of badge is unfamiliar and will likely be pushed aside in favor of others.

Campaign Promises: Incorporates Name & Founding Date, Multi-chromatic Eagle

Negative Attacks: Unequal Eagle-to-Crystal Ratio, Looks Like American Eagle Airlines Logo

2012 Equivalent: Jon Huntsman

Badge B

Badge B is a game-changer that evokes emotion on both sides of the debate. Although inexperienced, it’s flashiness and post-modern image goes a long way for those in search of the opposite of what is already there. Older constituents probably worry that Badge B is flighty and will soon appear to be outdated. Opponents see it as shameless pandering.

Campaign Promises: Divisive, Extreme

Negative Attacks: Time Period Specific, Akin to Youth Team Logo

2012 Equivalent: Rick Santorum

Badge C

Badge C has all the right moves, perhaps too right. Although it is presentable and well proportioned, many consider it a fake. Does Badge C really want to be President logo for Crystal Palace? Some say it would be better suited as the third logo on the sleeve of an NHL sweater, yet it is running for this office simply as the next logical step. Or, because it believes it can win. However clean it may be, the Eagle is awkward and there is no understanding of the past involved.

Campaign Promises: Better Option Than The Rest… That’s It

Negative Attacks: Looks Like The Badge One Would See For a Fake Soccer Team in a Bad Movie

2012 Equivalent: Mitt Romney

Badge D

Poor Badge D doesn’t have much going for it. It’s proponents claim that less is more but it is a difficult position when less appears to be just less. The strongest critics see it as vapid and plain. The few that approve most likely see it as uncomplicated enough to not screw anything up. At the end of the day, Badge D seems an unlikely winner. There are others with the same message that are more effective.

Campaign Promises: Cheap, Non Complicated, Can Use As Silk-Screen

Negative Attacks: Also Looks Like the AA Logo, Stripped Version of Other Badges

2012 Equivalent: Michelle Bachman

Badge E

Despite appearing different than the field, Badge E actually looks like a Republican candidate football badge. It probably isn’t the sexy choice, but E incorporates all the necessary ingredients we are accustomed to seeing. Name of the club, check. Founding date, check. Exterior shape, check. It also combine simplicity with a modern twist, which critics have not managed to refute. Even though this badge is modest and represents the actual traditional values of the club, opposition to Badge E is convinced that it will destroy the entire organization.

Campaign Promises: Will Stand the Test of Time, Will Restore the Club to Non-Laughable Status

Negative Attacks: Not Intimidating Enough, Won’t Galvanize Fanbase

2012 Equivalent: Ron Paul

Badge F

Badge F has been described softy as ‘scary’ and harshly as ‘Fascist’. Those against Badge F see it as an extreme, sinister version of Bush the old crest. Those for F argue that the club needs this style of badge to represent the win-at-all-cost mentality capable of leading it to the Promised Land… er, the Premier League.

Campaign Promises: Images of Intimidation Will Justify a Neo-Ends-Justify-The-Means Era of Despotic Rule.

Negative Attacks: Images of Intimidation Will Justify a Neo-Ends-Justify-The-Means Era of Despotic Rule.

2012 Equivalent: Rick Perry